


Please Wake Up

by RyunnKazan



Series: Gidrick ficlets [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gay Male Character, angst as shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-03-29 02:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13917843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyunnKazan/pseuds/RyunnKazan
Summary: "He's alive, but he doesn't remember me..."





	1. Impossible

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnnieVH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnieVH/gifts).



> originally a prompt from AnnieVH ;) kind of mixing this with the other one they sent me: Bypass
> 
> "He's alive, but he doesn't remember me..."
> 
> Gideon never returned to his infant state but some magic still happened.

Based off a prompt @annievh gave me many, many moons ago.

-,-,-,-,-,-

Gideon’s parents jumped when they heard the sound of glass breaking. They looked up to see Gideon’s glass of ice tea shattered on the floor, his wide glassy eyes trained straight ahead to a couple walking casually down the street.

“What’s wrong son?” Rumplestiltskin asked him as Belle grabbed a clump of napkins to contain the pool of ice and tea breaching out on the floor of Granny’s diner.

Gideon barely shook his head, his mind trying to register the familiar form he was seeing across the street.

It was Roderick…but it wasn’t Roderick. This Roderick was healthy and smiling and very much alive…and he was arm-in-arm with someone else.

It couldn’t be Roderick...couldn’t be his Roderick...

Rumpelstiltskin followed his son's view but didn't understand what, or why, the site of August Booth had Gideon so disturbed. Perhaps it had to do more with the unfamiliar young man by Booth's side. Rumpelstiltskin didn't recognize him as an original resident of Storybrooke or as one of the Dark Realm residents he and Gideon had recently transitioned into Storybrooke. Perhaps he had come over with Hyde's curse?

Who was he?

Gideon suddenly sprinted from the diner, following the couple as they turned a corner and disappeared from view.

"Gideon wait!" Belle called after him.

Gideon didn't stop or respond, and his parents were left in the diner to wonder what was happening to their son.

-,-,-,-,-

"We should have gone with him." Belle stated nervously as she paced the floor of the pawnshop.

"We have to give him space to deal with his own issues, sweetheart." Rumple stated calmly, though judging by his fidgeting fingers he was just as nervous as his wife.

“What if it’s one of _them,_ Rumple.” Belle whispered frightfully.

There had been so many children to come in from the dark realm that Storybrooke had to play musical beds to accommodate them all. Many who had adopted the lost boys from Neverland managed to find spaces for a child or two, and the rest were staying at the nuns’ coven, getting proper medical attention, food, and care for the first time in their lives.

Gideon had worked night and day to reassure that they were comfortable, earning the trust of those who had been weary of him for years.

Then there had been the older ones—the Black Fairy’s “favorites” and thus had been sadistically loyal to her even after her death.

It was there loyalty that had Gideon’s parents concerned for his safety. Each time they lied eyes on him, Belle and Rumplestiltskin could see every violent act that they wanted to do to him.

Emma’s solution was to lock them up until they were calm enough to listen to reason.

Two months later, Storybrooke was calm, and Gideon had finally found his place in the world.

Until this afternoon, that is.

“He wouldn’t run to one of them knowing their vendetta towards him,” Rumple reassured her. “And August Booth was with him. I’m sure he wouldn’t let things get out of hand.”

“Pinocchio is not his parent,” Belle sighed with fearful malice. “He won’t protect him.”

Just as a Rumple was about to respond, the shop door opened. The Dark One and his wife held their breath until their son walked in, his movements slow and quiet as he closed the door, his eyes glassy.

“Oh,” Belle gasped, running up and taking her son in her arms a best as she could with their height difference.

“Where have you been?” Rumplestiltskin sighed, eyes running over every inch of his son’s body for injuries.

Gideon lifted his crestfallen eyes to his parents. The sadness in them seemed to seep into his very soul.

“I…followed him.” Gideon said quietly.

“Who, son?” Rumplestiltskin inquired as he and Belle lead Gideon submissively to a cot in the back room.

Gideon fidgeted with the cuffs of his sleeves, the muscles in his mouth twitching as he tried to concur what he had seen.

“It’s Roderick.” Gideon relayed so quietly Belle had to look to Rumple to mouth what he had said.

“Honey,” Belle said carefully, “you said that he…” she trialed off, not wanting, or needing, to continue.

“I know,” Gideon nodded, the guilt twisting his expression. “But it was him. I know it is. Same eyes, same hair,” the right corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “Same smile.” His smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared.

“But?” Rumplestiltskin inquired. There was always a ‘but’ to these kinds of things. Why else would their son look so distraught?

Gideon eyebrows bowed in confusion, his mind not able to connect all the pieces of what he had just seen.

Rumplestiltskin gulped, recognizing the nearly crazed look in his yes. It had been the same one he had the day he, ironically, told him about his failure to protect Roderick. His son had been so traumatized from it, but also inspired to fight the Black Fairy and save the other children from a fate like Roderick’s.

“He’s alive.” Gideon laughed wetly. “Roderick is breathing, and walking, and living.” His gaze lifted to stare at his father’s dusty spinning wheel.

“He’s alive but…he doesn’t remember me.”


	2. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon confronts Roderick...or whoever he is now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this in April 0-0 God I can't pull my crap together

_Roderick?_

Gideon nearly skid into the pavement as he rounded the corner after Roderick and the man on his arm.

He panted as he came to a stop, watching as they exchanged goodbyes in front of the hospital.  His pounding heart seized when he saw Roderick inch up to kiss the man on the lips. It was quick, like the kisses his parent would give each other before they went to their destinations each day, and the site of it still squeezed Gideon’s heart.

Then Roderick went inside the hospital and the other man turned down a separate street. Gideon glared after the man until he disappeared, then went back to focusing on Roderick’s well-being. Why was he going into the hospital? Was he ill? Why wasn’t that other man walking inside with him?

Gideon forced himself not to panic. He still needed to be sure he was actually seeing Roderick, and that his deep-seated guilt wasn’t giving him hallucinations.

With a deep breath he entered the hospital, grimacing at the familiar clean smell. He spent weeks in this place with the Dark Realm children while they were taken care of. It was comforting to see them getting help, but having their injuries and illnesses clearer under the burning bright light filled Gideon with  a deep ache.

He looked around, looking for any sign of him, his heartrate increasing when he couldn’t find him.

_I can’t lose him again._

Blessedly, a familiar dark head of hair caught his site, and he turned just in time to see Roderick going into a room.

“Roderick!” Gideon yelled after him, his throat constricting with unshed tears.

Roderick didn’t respond, and the door closed behind.

Gideon ran after him, grabbing the door handle and trying desperately to get it open. He watched Roderick’s dark hair bobbed as he vanished down a staircase.

“Roderick!”

“Excuse me, sir?”

Gideon shot around to see “Nurse Hatchet” as his father called her for some reason. A lot of the children had been uneasy around her because she never smiled and would get onto them when they didn’t eat their vegetables. She meant well, though, and all the children healed quickly under her watchful eye.

“Oh,” she groaned, her nose wrinkling in distaste. “Your Belle’s and Gold’s boys, aren’t ya?”

“Yes,” Gideon waved her off. “I need to get in this room, please.”

“Sorry, no can do. That’s a morgue. Unless you’re a coroner or a body you can’t go down there.”

“But I…” Gideon sputtered, becoming increasingly agitated. Roderick was behind the door, just steps away, and he couldn’t get to him.

“Please.” Gideon begged, the action making his stomach turn in disgust. The only times he had begged was when he required mercy. He had begged for the Black Fairy to spare Roderick, but to no avail. He wouldn’t fail him again.

“Kid,” the nurse said in annoyance. “You can leave now or I can get security out here. Your choice.”

Gideon’s hands curled into fists. He could feel magic buzzing through his gloves, a sign that things were about to get messy. He had promised his parents that he would only use magic in dire situations. As far as he could tell, this was _dire._

“I’m sorry.” He said before flicking his wrist, causing the nurse to freeze in place. A quick look around assured him that no one had seen his deed, thus allowing him to move ahead with his mission. With another flick of magic, he had the door unlocked, and with a tense breath he went after Roderick.

He had to feel his way down the concrete walls, wonder why Roderick, after spending his entire life underground, would choose to enter such an enclosed space.

There was a drop at the end of the stairs that sent Gideon stumbling forward and grabbing at the nearest table to keep his footing.

 “Can I help you?”

The greeting wiped Gideon’s mind clear of all other thoughts, the only notable existence left were Rodrick’s words. His _voice._

Gideon turned to find him sitting at a desk, a clipboard of papers poised in his hand, his eyebrows drawn down in confusion.

A wet gasp left Gideon’s throat and his lungs started working again. It was him after all. Roderick was alive. He looked so healthy, abet his skin was still pale as death.

“R-Roderick, hi…” Gideon finally returned, wiping his eyes when tears threatened to spill over.

Roderick continued to stare at him, waiting for him to explain himself.

_Why did you let me die?_

“It’s…it’s really good to see you.” Gideon said.

Roderick blinked, setting the clipboard down on the desk and standing, walking around the desk until he was only a few feet from Gideon.

Gideon clenched his fists, fighting the urge to reach out and touch him, feel his skin (he was so pale, is he warm enough?), his hair (it looked shorter, when had he cut it?). To make sure he was solid. Real.

“It’s…good to see you too.” Roderick replied.

Gideon’s overwhelming joy of seeing Roderick faded at the sound of his dry tone. He was still angry a him, obviously. Gideon had failed _him,_ how could he begin to ask forgiveness for that? He was torn between getting on his knees and begging forgiveness or taking Roderick in his arms to confirm his existence.

“Look I…” Gideon began, wondering where to start.

Roderick eyed him up and down. “Do you need some kind of help?”

Gideon paused, staring at Roderick uncertainly. Of course he would think he was stuttering like a fool.

“No, I…I don’t think so.”

Roderick smiled softly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Okay. I’m not going to call security, but you need to go. It’s not safe down here.”

Gideon stared at him for a moment, unsure how to place his tone. He was forging kindness, understating that he wanted Gideon to leave.

“I know there’s a lot for us to talk about.” Gideon said, his hand rubbing up and down his jean legs. “That there’s plenty that you want to say…”

Roderick stared at him, his eyes filled with more confusion than aggravation now.

“There’s…nothing to say.”

Gideon blinked, slowly smiling. Did that mean Roderick had forgiven him, that they could start anew?

“Okay,” Gideon sighed happily. “If you say so. Um…do you want to go…” he looked around the sterile, gray room. How awful for Roderick to have left one dark prison for another.  “Somewhere else?”

Roderick seemed to stiffen at the inquiry, and Gideon feared he had pressured him too soon.

“I…” Roderick sighed, aggravation rising in his cheeks. “Look, I think you’re a bit confused.”

Gideon pondered on the statement. Sure he was confused on most things in this world, and he was even more puzzled on how Roderick was alive, but his feelings for him were certain.

“How about you go upstairs and go to the front desk. The nurse can help you find who you’re looking for.”

Gideon paused, the overflowing joy and relief slowly fading as Roderick stared at him with disinterred aloofness.

Like he was a stranger.

“Who I’m…” Gideon shook his head. It couldn’t be true. “I don’t…Roderick don’t you remember me?”

One of Roderick’s eyebrows arched in question. “Okay, dude, you’re definitely confused. I’m not Roderick, and I don’t know anyone who is.”

Gideon felt the burn of the icy rush leave his lungs.  

“I…no,” Gideon breathed wetly. “Roderick, you can’t…”

“My name’s Kevin,” the man who looked so much like Roderick said. “Look, I don’t want to call security, but you need to leave now.”

Gideon covered him mouth, trying to think of what was happening in front of him. The man he lost so swiftly—whose death had left him traumatized even after months of recovery—was alive before him but, at the same time, it wasn’t him.

Yet it was him. Every detail about him was the same: his wide blue eyes, his dark hair bouncy with life, his melodic voice.

This was Roderick in every physical way.

At the same time, he was someone else entirely. He was “Kevin” someone who didn’t know Gideon.

Someone who Gideon didn’t know either.

“Is there someone I can call to come get you?” Kevin inquired, hands sinking uneasily into his coat pockets.

Gideon barely managed to swallow the dryness in his throat. This was so wrong.

“N-no.” Gideon managed as his senses began to return. He needed to leave, find out what had happened to Roderick, why he couldn’t remember him. His parents would know what to do.

“I can…see myself out.”

Roderick…Kevin nodded, standing stiffly until Gideon began to back into the stairs.

Gideon allowed himself only a small glance back. Kevin’s face remained blank, void of all recognition, all previous hope for the future he had in the mines. It renewed Gideon’s guilt. He hadn’t been able to give him the life he had deserved. Instead he had traded one dark prison for another.

The young sorcerer made his way back to his father’s shop where his mother instantly eloped him a hug.

 “Where have you been?” Rumplestiltskin sighed, eyes running over every inch of his son’s body for injuries.

 “I…followed him.” Gideon relayed to them as they led him to the cot in the back of the room. He told them of the man in the morgue, the one who looked so much like the man he thought he had lost forever. He wanted to be happy, to tell them that he could finally do right by his friend.

Yet he was filled to the brim with a twisted sort of guilt and disappointment. In in the back of his mind there was another feeling he couldn’t place.

 “He’s alive but…he doesn’t remember me.” Gideon told his parents, the words weighing into his heart at last.

Roderick didn’t remember their friendship, the nights Gideon spent reading to him, the one time he taught him to sign his name in the dirt. The hope they had shared, for freedom and sunlight.

“He doesn’t remember me.” Gideon repeated, and admitting the words out loud finally made him break.


	3. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gold's go to the savior for help. Belle finally speaks her mind, and Gideon begins to take a dark turn.

Gideon fidgeted as he and his parents waited for Sheriff Swan to respond to their call. Right after Gideon returned, his parents insisted that they go to the Sheriff’s Station, that Emma could help them connect some of the dots to the Roderick mystery.

Gideon had his doubts that Emma could—or even would—help them. Though most of his actions had been the result of the Black Fairy’s control, Emma was still weary and distrustful of him. Gideon couldn’t really blame her, but he couldn’t quite understand how children who had feared him their entire lives were able to forgive him, but the savior—whose child he never even touch—still held him in low regard.

“Everything is going to be okay sweetheart.” His mother assured him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Gideon nodded, but he seriously doubted her words. Something was wrong about all of this. Roderick couldn’t be alive.

He had watched the Black Fairy kill him. Watched her _crush_ him.

He’d even tried to gather his remains after she had left him to grieve, but to no avail. There had been nothing left of him, nothing to save.

Nothing that could have been used to bring him back to life.

He looked up at his father who, despite his mother’s insistence, hadn’t stopped pacing. He seemed more nervous about this meeting with Emma than Gideon was.

“Maybe we should call her again.” Rumplestiltskin sighed impatiently.

“She said she’d be right over.” Belle assured.

“Well she’s taking her sweet time.” Rumplestiltskin returned, fighting the urge to magic Emma into the station himself.

Just as Belle was about to list off excuses, Emma came bounding into the station, her mother brisling in behind her.

“What’s this about, Gold?” Emma inquired aggravatedly.

“Oh, I just thought of all the times you would come after me demanding assistance and thought I’d return the favor.” Gold snarked.

“We were making honeymoon plans.” Snow White shot back, her frown matching her daughter’s.

“Didn’t realize newlyweds took their parents on their honeymoons nowadays.” Gold smirked.

“Enough!” Belle yelled, stepping between the Charmings and her husband. She gave him a warning look that had him holding his tongue and take a cautious step towards their son.

“We’re sorry to get in the way of your plans, Emma.” Belle apologized. “But Gideon saw someone today and we need your help finding out who it is.”

“Did you try following and asking him?” Emma inquired with a bite of sarcasm.

“Yes, actually I did.” Gideon’s voice broke through the tense air. “He…he doesn’t remember me, or anything from the Dark Realm, it would seem.”

“I fail to see why that concerns me.” Emma sighed.

“It concerns you because you’re the savior.” Rumplestiltskin argued. “This is your job.”

“I didn’t ask for this job!” Emma fought back. “And I’m done putting my life on hold to fix your problems!”

“I think you have the roles mixed up on this one, dearie!” Rumplestiltskin yelled back, causing Belle to grab his elbow to keep him at bay.

“He died!” Gideon yelled over the saviors, earning their attention at last. “I saw it. She…the Black Fairy…turned him into a bug, and crushed him…right in front of me.” He swallowed. “Because of me.”

Rumplestiltskin felt Belle flinch beside him. Though they had healed from the miscommunication before and after Gideon’s birth, Gideon hadn’t. The few days that they had spent worrying about his existence had been an entire lifetime for him, filled with pain, anger, and heartbreak. Neither of them new much about this Roderick that Gideon had spoke about only once, but he had apparently meant the world to their son. His demise was what motivated Gideon to defeat the Black Fairy, to go against everything he had been raised to do.

Now that Roderick—or at least someone who looked indescribable similar to him—was alive, Gideon was back to where he started, and three months of healing had crumpled before them.

“But somehow he’s back.” Gideon told the savior wetly. “He’s alive, but…he’s someone else. He calls himself Kevin and he was with…someone else.”

“Pinocchio.” Rumplestiltskin relayed.

“August?” Emma mused. “I didn’t realize he was dating.”

“They’re not…” Gideon began to snip. He stopped however when he recalled how he saw them together. They were something, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it. “It doesn’t matter. Will you help me?”

“Look, Gideon,” Emma sighed. “Was he in any danger? Did he seem like he was being abused or anything?”

“I…no but—”

“Then what’s the problem?” She asked. “If he’s happy then why make him remember who he was? It wasn’t like he had it good to begin with.”

“That’s not the point!” Gideon exclaimed. “He had hope! We all did thanks to him! He needs to remember that.”

“Remember how he was imprisoned and abused?” Emma deadpanned. “It seems to me like you’re the one who wants to remember all of it. That’s pretty selfish if you ask me.”

Her comment was a low blow, and it hit Gideon so hard that all at once the hurt he had been pushing back for so long slammed into him full force. Through the hurt and the agony of it all, there was something else stirring through his chest. That little dark flame the Black Fairy had ignited in him all those years ago. There was a time when Gideon didn’t mind being the evil little slave she had created—and at that time he actually liked it. It was easier. Pushing people far away, making them fear him, it kept them safe. It should have kept Roderick safe.

“You know what Emma?” Gideon responded with a small, dark smile. “Enjoy your honeymoon.”

Emma blinked, barely flinching when he brushed past her to exit the sheriff station.

“I hope you both fall off the edge of the world.” He muttered.

“Gideon.” Rumplestiltskin called after his son, earning only the slam of the sheriff station door.

The savior nor her mother said anything regarding Gideon’s remark, but the annoyance was clear on their faces.

“If there’s nothing else…” Emma exasperated.

“Oh, there’s plenty else.” Rumplestiltskin growled, stalking past her to go after his son.

With the Dark One gone, Emma and Snow White were able to exchange aggravated shrugs in peace, barely noticing the gaping woman glaring at them.

“I can’t believe you.” Belle spoke, earning their attention. “We come for you for help, not just for Gideon but for Roderick too, and you just dismiss them?”

“Belle…” Snow sighed with a tip of her chin, as if she were addressing one of her young students.

“Don’t.” Belle stopped her, crossing her arms tightly over herself. “It’s my turn. Since the moment you asked me to, I have sacrificed sleep, and time, and precious moments with my husband. I was so consumed with helping you that I didn’t recognize that he was going dark again. That he needed _help_.”

“You’re not responsible for his mistakes.” Emma said.

“I may not be responsible for his sins, Emma, but I _am_ responsible for his well-being.” Belle scoffed. “When I married him, he became a part of me, and me him. I should have helped him cope with his trauma but instead I tried to turn him into someone he wasn’t ready to be.”

“And you think he’s any different now?” Snow inquired stiffly.

“I think he’s who he’s always been,” Belle retorted. “A dark man who loves his family with his entire being.” She stepped closer, eyeing the savior dead-on. “And right now, his child is hurting, and he came to you, the savior, a fellow parent, expecting help, but instead all he received is scorn.”

Emma’s mouth opened for a response, but Belle cut her off quickly. It was still her turn.

“And let me just remind you that Gideon is _my_ son as well. I thought after everything I’ve done for you that you would help _me_. But it would seem your honeymoon plans are more important than the well-being of one of your citizens.”

“Belle it’s not—”

Belle grabbed her purse and stomped around her, heading after her husband and son.

“The next time you need a free babysitter or someone to fix your problems, call someone else. My husband nor I are no longer at your service.”

She closed the door as they called after her, caring little for any apology or excuse they would gift her.

She was done. She had her say, and now she could focus on helping her son.

She only hoped that she and her husband could still direct him away from a path of darkness.

-,-,-,-,-

He was with that man again. The one who had walked him into the hospital hours ago. The one who his father called Pinocchio, but the savior called August.

Gideon watched as Roderick…Kevin…and August strolled casually to his loud traveling bike, a motorcycle, he believed it was called.

He held his breath for a moment when he saw how casually Roderick was dressed. Gone was the starchy white lab coat that made him look twice as pale than he was. Now he had on a pair of light jeans and a long-sleeved shirt that kept him protected from the cooling weather. His bright smile could match the sun. He looked so happy, laughing at something August was saying. Gideon’s heart soared for him.

But through the overwhelming happiness there was this deep resentment he couldn’t place and shouldn’t have felt.

It was the same feeling he used to have in the mines, when the Dark Fairy took an interest in him. He had dark spells pumped into his mind and every move he made was monitored and critiqued to the cruelest extent. Sure, he was fed and clothes better than the other children, but it was at a cost. If they had their work done, they had their freedom, restricted as it was. Gideon never earned his.

But this feeling he had wasn’t quite the same childhood resentment he had had for his peers. It was deeper. More primal. That August man shouldn’t be by Roderick’s side. That wasn’t the way things were supposed to be.

Gideon took a deep breath to control himself. He couldn’t worry about such a trivial matter right now. He needed to focus on bringing Roderick’s memory back. Then he would take care of the rest.

He watched with concern as Roderick boarded the loud contraption and wrapped his arms around August. His stomach lurched when they drove off at a sickeningly fast speed, Roderick’s chin nestled into the other man’s shoulder.

“He looks healthy.”

Gideon glanced around to see his father standing just behind him, fingers intertwined as his sharp eyes followed the motorcycle down the street.

“He is.” Gideon added. “He’s a lot of things.”

Rumplestiltskin nodded, taking his place beside his son. They both stared at the hospital, a mass building that was filled with uncomfortable memories for them both.

“What are you planning?” Rumplestiltskin inquired, watching Gideon tense  from the corner of his eye.  

“Why on earth are you asking me that?” Gideon scoffed.

“Because I saw the look on your face when you let the sheriff’s station.” Rumplestiltskin said. “You’re about to do something careless, and possibly dangerous.”

“I can handle it.” Gideon said, stepping over the curb towards the hospital.

“You think causing chaos is going to earn you Roderick’s favor?”

Gideon stopped on the yellow line of the road, turning back to his father with a frown. “I’m more concerned with earning his trust and forgiveness than his favor, father.”

“You will.” Rumplestiltskin promised. “But you need to be careful or you’ll push him away.”

“He doesn’t even know who I am!” Gideon shouted in frustration. “Roderick, Kevin, whoever he is now. I’m nothing to him! And if I just stand around I never will be. I have to try something.” With a flick of his wrist he vanished is a cloud of gold.

“Gideon don’t!” Rumple called after him, cursing when he disappeared. Through the aggravation and concern, he felt just a hint of relief when he sensed Belle’s presence.

“Where did he go?” Belle inquired.

“I’m not sure” Rumple admitted. “He’s going to do something brash.”

Belle nodded, the concern for her son clear on her entire face. “What do we do, Rumple? How do we help him?”

Rumple placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders. Rarely was she ever uncertain, but when it came to her son, she was all over the place.

“We keep going.” He decided. “We’ll start with the hospital, find out how long Roderick has been here, then we’ll go to the mines where the Black Fairy kept her things.”

“You think she’s behind this?” Belle gasped.

“It’s the only way this makes sense.” Rumplestiltskin said. “She may have tricked Gideon somehow into seeing Roderick’s death. It’s certainly not below her.”

Belle nodded, rubbing his back in slow comforting circles.

 “Let’s start with Dr. Whale, create a timeline.” Belle suggested. “It will give Gideon some time to calm down and us to help him find what he needs.”

“If he doesn’t find it first.” Rumple muttered as he led his wife across the street to the hospital.

Just on the edge of Storybrooke, Gideon stood in a small forested area outside a small but homey house.

Inside the house was August and Roderick. They were sitting at a table, smiling and taking sips from beer bottles and bites from plates as they laughed over some tale the elderly man at the end of the table was telling.

They looked so happy, like a small quaint family. Gideon couldn’t help but smile at the image and imagine if it were him in August’s place and his parents in the elderly man’s.

His smile faded when he realized what such a fantasy would entitle. Waking Roderick up, taking him away from this peaceful existence he had found. Could Gideon really do that? Could he take away such happiness from his former friend?

Gideon continued to watch them as he mused on the question. The elderly man had excused himself, leaving Roderick and August alone. They talked for a while more, finishing the mean and drinks set before them, relaxed in their chairs with a sizable distance between them.

Then, suddenly Roderick leaned over the table and kissed August on the lips. Slow and loving, and quickly retuned.

Gideon looked away and held back a bark of protest.

Maybe the savior was right, maybe he was being selfish by trying to wake Roderick up.

Maybe this life that he had somehow found himself in was better than the one he had left. Maybe making him remember was just cruel.

Gideon didn’t want to hurt him again. He’d failed him twice already, failed him to the point that his life had become unbearable. Who knows the kind of danger he would experience now.

Gideon found the courage to look up once more and found the space they had been in empty. The same void was swallowing his heart.

He decided as he made his half-hearted retreat that he would find a way to wake his friend.

Maybe it was selfish, and maybe even cruel. But he needed the same closure the other children had gotten. He needed Roderick to know his death had not been in vain, that the had become the hero he had wanted him to be.

That in their last moments, Roderick had awoken feelings in him that he had never know where possible. Hope, bravery…love?

He spared a final glance at the cozy home where Roderick was laying his head for the night. Yes, love too.

However, to find out why Roderick couldn’t remember him, he would have to first find out how this August fellow played into all of this.

That would be the morning’s mission, when Roderick was safe in his gray morgue and August’s throat was firmly in Gideon’s hands.


End file.
